What is life for $200, Alex???
My 20 year reunion is coming up this weekend. I cannot go because of two factors…only 1 of which I can really control.
I need to say that we really are short-staffed at work right now. Which means that since March 2010, I have been at work a lot- anywhere from 80 to 130 hours per week. Don’t get me wrong, I still have days off every week to try and cram life in somehow…but I am usually so dang tired that I can’t see straight which makes doing any real work impossible.
What can I control? My desire to go to the reunion.
In Junior High and High School, I was an outsider. I was awkward, fat, and I truly hated ME! I played the freaking TUBA! I was really good but still….a red-headed, freckled Tuba player? The cards were seriously stacked against me. I had so much inner hate and contempt. I was never included in parties or outings. I was in the honors classes with these people but never included in their stuff. There were a few people who helped me keep my sanity during those horrid years- Micheal, Thomas, John, Wendy…and yes, you Tabitha. But mostly, I played my tuba!
Fast forward to 2000… I was invited to a party after the official 10 year stuff was over. Loud music, lots of smoking, and heavy drinking. I stayed for 10-15 minutes and quietly left out the back door. Wow…I never missed a thing!!!
You need to understand, I made the commitment when I was 5 or 6 that I would never drink alcohol or smoke! Still haven’t to this day nor plan to.
Some things have not changed since High School- still overweight, loud, obnoxious, and love the tuba! What has changed and not many will ever see is I have someone who loves me for ALL my MANY flaws, I am happy. I have a wonderful soulmate who completes me and challenges me to be a better man! I have learned that stuff just is stuff… what matters most is what I can give to others to make their time better as they orbit around the sun on this rock!
I would go if I were off…but not to actually BE there. Just to see what real changes people have made…Some people will have lost weight or “enhanced themselves” but my guess is the drunks still are…the rich elitist still are…the stoners still are… Most people will still be at that level because the pinnacle of their life was that night 20 years ago when they walked across the stage. There has been no change and no real progress..no true increase or benefit to mankind…and that truly is sad!
I shouldn’t “toot my own tuba” here, but…I have spent the last 20 years of my life in mission service, Cub Scouts, 
PTA/PTO President, and other stuff… Few will ever see what I do…and most will not care because deep inside I still am and will always be the loud, obnoxious TUBA player…. and somehow I am pretty cool with that!!! Because I have had a boat load of fun on my journey!
Thoughts from My Crazed Mind 
Aaron,
You are an awesome man! You mentor children, adults, and scouts every day. You leave a lasting impression on everyone you know. My son loves “captain D” and so do I. And by the way, I played tuba in high school too!
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Thanks Leigh. I really want the kids to have felt loved and cared for. While I can’t remember all 150 boys and the 100 volunteers at Camp this year, I love the energy and dedication y’all have which inspires me to be better!
tuba player? I knew i liked you!!!!
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Love this! I was a geek too. In fact, one time I was discussing high school and someone said “were you a geek? Because geeks got no play, everyone else did”. I remember being really offended (it wasn’t that long ago) but now I think – yes. I’m a geek. And I’m 110% ok with that!! My grades were amazing, my religion was the center of my world (still is) and I knew the importance of my loved ones. No desire to be anything BUT that geeky girl 🙂 Don’t need the booze, don’t need the nicotine, the parties or the need to live in the past – my future is bright and the present is amazing 🙂
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Wow what is it with Scouters and the Tuba??? Yes I too was Tuba playing geek in junior high and high school. Seeing that we are not that far off in age I’m sure we must have shared a stage or two durring UIL contests back in the day. I was of the skinny, OMG that thing is gonna crush that boy version of Tuba Player… However I managed to play it in College, a college where Tuba Players were the kings of the geeks…. SFA…..and yes the Tuba Punch party during Homecoming week is still the hottest ticket in town after the game I have the recipe, but you don’t drink and I can respect that.
I personally boycotted my 20 year reunion… I lost some friends due to it but I now question as to their friendship in the first place…. You see my Class of 88, we had a 15 year reunion… I attended the 10, got the invite for the 15, and yet a co-worker and class mate did not. We lived 4 houses apart, and the girl sending the invites said she couldn’t find him….. She lives 3 blocks away…..The snotty little clicks that develop in little home towns never seem to go away. I called her and gave her the address, gave her the address of quite a few folks, none of which ever received an invite… So I boycotted them. 15 and 20….Thinking really hard about 25… By the time some of these small town people grow up most of the idiots will be dead…that is when I’ll go to another reunion. Good luck and nice blog. I too started writing things down at about the 39 mark… do it in my notes section on FB… Haven’t visited there lately…. thanks and good luck with things.
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Very good post. I know how what you mean and I think that both of us are better men for our experiances in High School.
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Aaron, I enjoyed your post! Reunions are tricky. I haven’t made it to one, either. There are a few people I’d love to see, but not sure it will happen.
I am sure you were just as cool in high school as we all think you are now; it’s just that teenagers, in general, are unable to see anything beyond the superficial. High school was hard for many of us.
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Aaron – now that I know you have a blog, I’ll be back often! I’m a band geek myself; played the Flute 5th-9th grade then switched to French Horn and loved it. My 20th is coming up next year and I think I’m going to go to this one. The others I either lived out of state or just couldn’t be bothered. With all the drinking and partying, my being only 1 of 3 LDS kids in my school, and being a dork, shielded me from the temptations of the day. My school, like all schools, was full of clicks (sp?), but thankfully, I only recall one vicious person who said nasty things to me. Most of my exclusion was, I think, due to my being painfully shy…I didn’t talk to them so they didn’t talk to me? 😀 Doesn’t matter now, I’m happy being me and can’t be bothered by what other may or may not think of me.
Sadly, I thought I was overweight in HS. Oh, to only be packing around an extra 20lbs these days!! I’m so glad you and Mary found each other!! 😀
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Aaron…I am glad that you shared your feelings with us. What I remember about school was about the same as you….if you didn’t have to money, wear the right clothes, and/or live in the best neighborhood, then you weren’t in the “in” crowd. Funny, that at the time I thought that was where I should be……now, looking back, the experience made me a better person. I am the kind of teacher that roots for the “underdogs”…..meaning, I seek out those that are left out, because I was once there myself! Iwill also never forget (working on forgiving) the person who I thought was my best friend at the time telling me that I would never amount to anything! Well….all I can say…is “how do you like me now?” With a great marriage, 3 wonderful boys and a Master’s degree….plus friends that I can still depend on from school….I think I am great!
Would love to go though just to see those that I’ve lost contact with…but won’t be able to this time!
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Im gonna miss you. I was really hoping you could come. You may not know it but you helped me during high school. Looking back I was a ‘tweener. I was involved in drama, FFA, UIL , and all sorts of other stuff (not sports though), but I felt like I never really fit in most of those places. I feel like most folks just tolerated me. You, however, were different. You cared about me and I feel like we forged a bond and friendship that will last us throughout our lives. I really appreciate you being there when my mother passed. You don’t know how much people’s presence means at a time like that. Thank you for getting a plant. That was an awesome gesture from you and whomever else chipped in. I have mixed emotions about going as well.
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Thanks. You have always been an awesome person. I am glad you were outcast like me… We had so much fun in Chemistry, Physics, and English those years. Lasting memories and really funny stories my son knows by heart and rolls his eyes when i tell them again and again!!!
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Aaron & All,
This post makes me sad. I’ve told Aaron “privately” but to all others that read this…. IF I ever acted in a way that suggested I thought anyone was less important than me….I am SO sorry. I never did think that. I was (& am) a very insecure girl. I always liked people for who they were – NOT what that they had. Please forgive me if I ever acted otherwise.
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Tab…you are the sweetest thing around. The problem is not you. Theproblem is that kids are too caught in their own drama to realize their actions fully. Unfortunately…and waaaayyyyyyy tooooo late….they cannot undo the harm that was caused. The kids that werre affected just take their lumps and grow up! The givers of that abuse…sometimes never do! what’s better is that the outcast when grown understand the those feelings and can help the next generation of outcasts overcome and excel
I say OUTCASTS of the WORLD UNITE!!!
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