The All-New Kinder, Gentler Vampire

Posted by adeason123 on July 5, 2010 · 5 Comments 

Vampires DO NOT sparkle!!!!  There I said it. I have probably managed to alienate half of the 2 people who read this blog

I read today that a “fruit, nut, and berry tree hugger hippy” New York Senator introduced a bill that would outlaw Corporal punishment in schools!  One of the MAJOR deterrents for fighting by in the 80s was that everyone knew our Principal- Mr Harvey Rayson- should, could, and WOULD whip your butt…and would invite your Parents to have a go, too!!!  (Mr. Rayson died last week.  Heaven now has a great man who will not take anything off the Devil!!!)

No sir…No finger shaking…No stern looks..Just good old-fashioned licks…and it worked for years until Child Psychologists said is hurt self-esteem…. And the world started changing for the worse at that VERY moment…

Back as a kid, Mom wouldn’t let us watch Lost Boys or any of those others Rated – R movies. Too much violence. Too much killing. Too much swearing. So, I didn’t get to see how awesome they were until I was an Adult.  Although bad guys, they drank blood, killed, and were nasty, vile creatures….just the way Vampires are supposed to be…

But now that we are in 2010….Enter the kinder, gentler, and sparkling Vampire… Sparkling??? 

(Are you kidding me… The only thing that needs to sparkle at my house is a 120000 degree stick of molten madness held by a kid on the 4th of July…)

I don’t blame the kids of This “Sparkling” generation.  Their parents are the hippies from the 1960s and have enabled them!!!!

But no matter.. the “sparkling” generation is in for a rude awakening when or IF they leave home… (and many are staying longer and longer…)  They take 7 years to finish a Bachelors Degree because actually taking 15 hours per semester and actually finishing something is TOO hard. They are going to go to work and realize quickly that no one really cares what your GPA in HS or college was. No one cares what frat or sorority they were in.  Bosses want workers!!!

They want REAL vampires… You know- the “I vant to suck your blood…mwahahhahaa!’  VAMPIRES not some prissy little sparkling EMO! We watched those mean little suckers, too…and we loved it!  …and we turned “fairly “ok….

And I secretly dream the Lost Boys (before getting killed by the good guys) come back to whoop some Twilight tail!!!…and that makes me smile!!!

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