Sitting and Waiting…


PLEASE DO NOT READ the FIRST SENTENCE IF YOU HAVE ANY FOOD OR DRINK IN YOUR MOUTH!!!

 

I am WIDELY known and praised for my patience and empathy.

 

Now that you have gotten a good laugh for the day, let me explain why I might lack empathy.  I can trace it back to my days on the ambulance. In 2010, I worked almost 250 24-hour shifts.  I read the protocol book at least once per shift. I would pick a protocol and write the entire algorithm until I could get it perfect.  This made the actions instinctive, which is good-ish because it allows the emotion to be taken out of the process.  I could focus squarely on the patient and the associated symptoms and began treating.  V-fib, diabetes, CVA, etc became just another patient with an associated algorithm.  The only problem is that i see ALL those faces in my head.

One protocol not covered was emotions.  I have heard that people have them.  Having there is NO algorithm on how to learn or memorize.  Thus, I have had to learn HOW to do it..and some 15 years later, I still suck at it.  I like people, but am okay being in my bubble.

This has been especially tough today as Mary is going through surgery.  Lacking an emotion algorithm is seriously jacking with my chi.  So, here I sit for the next hours waiting for any news… alone. Fortunately I have created algorithms for almost every scenario from death to leg amputation to complications to complete recovery with no problems.  So, I am prepared mentally…but still NOT emotionally.  Good times.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: